[TANGO-L] Married Couples in the milongas: redux

[Deby Novitz <dnovitz@LAVIDACONDEBY.COM>]

With all due respect Steve, I lived in California 34 years before moving to
Buenos Aires.  I have danced most of my life.  The last 6 years I have danced
tango and 5 of those years were in San Francisco.  Before that I danced Salsa.

In the Bay Area there are countless married couples who everyone knows are
married and they dance with other people.  They come together, they walk in
together, and then most separate to find their favorite partners. There are
others who come together and only dance with each other. Some dance together a
bit, and then go off to find other partners.  THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN IN BUENOS
AIRES, trust me.  The married couples stay together.

Next point, in San Francisco, the married woman or man may greet their
friends.
It doesn't matter who their friends are. They say hello.  If I walked
up to say
hello to either partner I will be greeted in return.  If I wanted to
dance with
the husband, I might turn to the wife and say "May I steal your husband for
this tanda?"  Oh my god, if I did this in Buenos Aires I can only imagine what
would happen...and it would not be pretty.

Married men (at least in the Bay Area community) do not show up at milongas
daily without a wedding ring or their partner, then on Saturday magically
produce both, and proceed to ignore any women they dance with during the week
when they are "single". (This is not to say that this behavior is not played
out in other manners.)

I think you missed the entire point of what I wrote.  The gentleman who
wrote to
the list previously asked about married people coming to milongas in Buenos
Aires.  He was interested in the codigos in our milongas here in Buenos
Aires. You can jump up and down that the customs in the US are the same
or similar, and
I will never agree with that.  Anyone who has come here to dance with tell you
the same.

Every dance community has its customs and so does every country.  Hopefully
decency and common courtesy are a part of those customs. Do not make the
mistake and try to say that our community is the same as yours, or one in
Paris, or Australia.  They are truly unique in their own ways.  However the
customs in Buenos Aires milongas are rooted in the culture and history of the
country, and are not the same as elsewhere.

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