Re: [TANGO-L] teaching at milongas

[Leonard Kunkel <image10 @SWBELL.NET>]

Hyla,
Good post.

My sentiments exactly. I fear more people are turned off to tango, than
are turned on, by an over enthusiastic short timer who instructs at a
milonga..

This discussion is really about the desire to get more dancers involved
with tango. And we have not discussed getting more men or leaders
recruited.

Do women take newby guys and perhaps just walk together? Men for sure do
not want to create or become a spectacle in the middle of the floor at a
milonga.

I see men just sitting and observing but more often than not are
reluctant to try anything new unless they have a fairly good
understanding of it.

There is much more pressure on a new leader than a follower. And an
eager woman can kill it for a guy. For a new guy it is not about
feelings or connections. They have no reference or concept of these
terms. They are too busy worrying about putting their feet in the right
place without stepping on their partners feet.

We have to debunk the idea that this dance is complicated. For it is
really not if you get a true grasp of the concept. But for a leader this
may take some work and understanding.

I always alert my students who come as a couple. I tell them they should
expect the lady to progress much faster in the beginning. Guys should
not be overly concerned that they are progressing more slowly. And I
tell them at some point they will catch up and most likely pass their
partners. Women should have a lot of patience with new leaders. You may
not realize it but they are a head case.

But there comes that point for every leader, who stays with it, when
they pass over the pinnacle. The dance transcends from a mental game to
become a feeling. To expression the music without him having to pre
think what is the next pattern or what the next lead will be? That time
will come depending on how much work is put into it. I can remember the
place and time for me. It was two years after I had begun tango. It was
awesome for the first time I left a milonga thinking Wow this dance can
be fun!

A man's ego is much more fragile than most women realize. A woman can
turn him off and he will never tell her why. He will just disappear
vowing never to be subjected to that kind of humiliation again.

Rightly or wrongly a guy feels he should have a grasp and control of the
situation. This is why we hate to stop and ask for directions. For to
ask is to admit that perhaps we are lost.

Women should praise a newby even if he was pathetic. You may never
understand what it took for him to put himself in such a vulnerable
position in the first place. Someday because of encouragement he may be
one of the best leads around.

Instructions, which are usually administered critically in the hands of
the unskilled, belong in classes and practicas. Encouragement (building
confidence) is the tool for milongas.

Blessings,
leonardo k