Re: [TANGO-L] Alienating leads

[Tom Stermitz <Stermitz @RAGTIME.ORG>]

Hyla wrote:

> But it also helps to really think deeply about the
> whole risk/benefit ratio of alienating the
> bad/mediocre dancers.  Is it really worth staying on
> the list of one of those bad dancers who never
> practice, never take classes, pull you around, don't
> listen to the music, bump into people etc.?  I know
> ...
> There was a point when I stopped dancing with the
> mediocre dancers for awhile.  It was after I took that
> risk of alienating some guys, that my dancing began to
> improve rapidly.  There was definitely some lonely
> ...

May we all have dances with people better than us!!!


The male role in tango tends to control or impose more on the couple
than the female role. This can be negative or positive for the
follower depending on the quality of the leader. Dancing with a lot
of beginners can cause bad habits to become ingrained. (This can
easily be countered by privates to help stabilize good technique).

Many women have had the true BUT ALSO FALSE experience that a great
leader can make a great dance happen. Sure, she has a good time, but
frankly, if the woman isn't great, he can only bring her up to a
"good" dance. The shoe fits the other foot: a great follower can make
a great dance for an advanced dancer.

So, I see women stop taking lessons, refuse to dance with beginners,
and just wait around for good leaders. This isn't very functional for
a couple reasons. Our communities have many more beginners than
intermediates, and over time, some of those beginner guys are going
to become your favorite partners.


Hyla suggests that one way to create an ideology of improvement is to
stop dancing with people who aren't on a path of improvement.

I would rather that Hyla's suggestion be recast into a more positive
light by suggesting that experienced women take a more active role in
offering encouragement to the beginner and intermediate men.

(NOTE: ENCOURAGING is not the same as TEACHING.)

(1) Attend beginner classes. Most teachers would love to have good
women help balance the gender ratios, and new, shy guys are
incredibly flattered to have good followers giving them encouragement.

(2) If you spot the guys from class at a practice or a milonga, go
welcome them. Give them a tanda and complement any progress. Talk to
them and introduce them to your friends.

(3) Volunteer to be a "crash-test dummy" for a private lesson. (Guys
are notoriously shy about taking privates, especially from another
guy.)

(4) Encourage them to take 2 or 4 classes from every master
instructor who visits. This is a long-term project.

(5) Invite them to take road trips to communities with a higher level
of dance. They need to notice there are higher levels and other
styles.


The point is attaining some level of perfection in tango requires an
ideology of pursuing quality or perfection. Intermediate guys are
unpleasant to dance with mainly because they stop taking lessons and
at this stage become focused on vocabulary and fancy figures. They
get this foolish attraction to vocabulary because believe women would
be bored if they didn't throw all this STUFF into their tango.

Experienced women are in a unique position to improve the level of
dance, but by avoiding the beginners and intermediates you are
perpetuating the problem.