Re: [TANGO-L] teaching at the milongas

[Marisa Holmes <mariholmes @YAHOO.COM>]

> Would it have been OK to ask her not to turn
> around? If so, how would I have phrased it?  If not,

> is there anything I could have done?

As usual, some very good advice from various members
of the list, some given publically, some privately.
Suggestions included inviting her to relax or
discussing whether she was uncomfortable (on or off
the floor) leading figures that let her see what was
going on all around so she had a better sense of the
floor, and leading some little "get her attention"
figures to try to get her to focus.

I had some better luck this last week dancing with
her, and in particular I did as Frank and Chino
suggested, doing turns and half turns so she could see
for herself what was happening behind her.  She may,
of course, have simply improved in the course of the
week - she is quite new.  (I personally do the trick
of leading the unexpected figure in class if I find my
follower has zoned out and is repeating what we're
working on without waiting for my lead - good, bad, or
indifferent - but I wouldn't do it during a social
dance.)

I found the comments that focused on the same sex
issue interesting and amusing - although of course
none of the others were as funny as Gary F.'s, which
ignored the info given about my sex and suggested that
if I am not an unattractive single man, I might tell
her I can't see her pretty eyes if she keeps looking
away from me.  I think the suggestion several people
gave, to consider whether it was dancing with another
woman that made her antsy is reasonable - although she
does in fact turn and thrash with male leaders as well
(my observation and also that of my male partner).
Astrid's suggestion, that a male Argentine would
probably just place the lady's face against his, was
interesting - although I don't know why Astrid says I
am not macho enough to do that.  She has never even
met me!  ;-)  ;-)  ;-)  In any case, the other thing I
did was in fact to dance closer.  It certainly did not
make it any worse.

Thanks again!
Marisa

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