[TANGO-L] Rejections

[Brian Dunn <Brian @DANCEOFTHEHEART.COM>]

Andrew wrote:
>>>
IMO, lying is bad for everybody. Here's an example of why: At a TangoFantasy
milonga last month. I invited a lady to dance, we failed to connect, and she
excused herself after one dance because of "pain from a pre-existing foot
injury." I wasn't offended by the obvious lie, or by the fact that she
danced
the next dance with somebody else, just sorry that she had felt it necessary
to demean us both by lying about the reason.
<<<

I know what you are saying here, and from the perspective you've chosen,
it's hard to feel good about the situation you describe.  An alternative
perspective might be: she may not be lying, she may in fact be noticing her
very real foot pain because the non-connected dance wasn't powerful enough
to distract her attention from the pain.  I know many women who dance with
foot pain.  I am not qualified to comment on the wisdom of the practice, but
I can understand their decision.  My impression is that they endure pain in
order to roll the dice for the chance at a beautiful dance, which will
temporarily move their attention from the pain to the sweet connection with
their partner.

In this case, she may be telling the truth about her pain sensations, AND it
would still make sense for her to be dancing the next dance with someone
else,  because...it's another roll of the dice - maybe this dance WILL
distract her from her pain...and there's only so much time left that night
before the pain becomes REALLY unpleasant, so it's best to not invest time
in a non-connected partnership.

I'm just speculating here, and would welcome any follower's feedback.

All the best,
Brian Dunn
Dance of the Heart
Boulder, Colorado  USA
1(303)938-0716
http://www.danceoftheheart.com
============================
"...after that tango, we are no longer strangers..."
--- Robert Heinlein, "The Number of the Beast"