[TANGO-L] Tango and rudeness

[luda_r1 <luda_r1 @YAHOO.COM>]

Rose wrote:

"One thing everyone should remember is that just
because someone is dancing that evening, has accepted
invitations from you happily in the past, may be on
friendly terms with you, general manners still apply."

Oh boy! Did you open up a can of worms with this one!

I have been told by some of my friends, and have
experienced it first hand, that tango seems to attract
some of the rudest people in the world. I have NEVER
run into such rude behavior in any other social
situation. Why is it that the tango scene tolerates
it?

I'm not even going to go into being lectured to on the
dance floor. By men who don't have a clue about
leading. We've belabored that particular topic enough.
:) But other  examples are what you describe, Rose,
and just being treated like a commodity. Not a human
being.

I had an experience recently where a  man said
something ugly to me in a class before we had even
taken a single step together. I didn't know him from
Adam. Never met the guy before. He was in a bad mood
that day, obviously, but why take it out on the dance
partner? I instinctively turned around on my heel and
just walked away from him. How else do you protect
yourself from such boorish behavior? Later I learned
that he's known in the community for his bad manners
and none of my lady friends ever dance with him. Even
though he's considered to be a "good dancer". Who
cares?

I also learned later that some men in the community
have been on his case about it. Such flagrant
boorishness gives the entire community a bad name. But
why has this man gotten as far as he has in the tango
world without being "educated" to behave
appropriately? Why the hell do we put up with this
sh--at all?

And then there are the women. Who behave as if the
entire universe revolved around them. I hear plenty of
horror stories about that from men. But not as many as
I do from women. :) Yes, whatever happened to common
courtesy? Maybe like some other things in life that
are supposed to be common, common sense, for instance,
it's not so common.

Everybody talks about "paying their dues" in tango.
Makes it sound like a repulsive chore of some sort.
Tango? I just don't get it. Why can't people enjoy the
dance at ANY stage of development, with the emphasis
on "enjoy". And we wonder why so many people drop out.
Sure it's hard, but the payoff is enormous.

If tango is supposed to be a metaphor for life, as
some people believe, then it would explain some of
this weird behavior. Maybe. If you're a nice person in
real life, it will show up in tango. And if you're an
SOB in real life, that will show up in tango, too.

Luda

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