Re: [TANGO-L] The "cabeceo"

[Huck Kennedy <huck @eninet.EAS.ASU.EDU>]

Luda writes about the cabaceo:
> I've personally never liked this practice and hope it
> never takes solid root in this country. It seems
> childish and silly somehow. At least in this culture.
> There are other, much more effective ways, of inviting
> someone to dance. I suppose it can be fun to play this
> game if you're so inclined, but most of the time I
> hear women complaining that they find it demoralizing
> and embarrassing.

     Ignoring the fact that the only thing you seem
to be concerned with is how you and other women feel
(as though it never even occurs or matters to you how
men might feel), just what is so demoralizing and
embarrassing about the cabaceo?

     The whole idea of the cabaceo is to *avoid*
demoralization and embarrassment.  It saves embarrassment
for the man who would otherwise have to walk over to
a woman and point-blank ask her to dance to her face
and get turned down in front of the entire milonga,
and it saves embarrassment for the woman who might
feel undue pressure to accept a dance she might not
want just to spare embarrassment to the man standing
before her.

     If a man looks your way and you don't want to
dance with him, you just pretend you didn't even
notice and keep moving your glance elsewhere.  What's
so demoralizing and embarrassing about that?  It
saves both parties embarrassment.

     I find the whole thing to be quite ingenious,
actually.  And somewhat romantic.  I wonder how it
slowly evolved?

     And I also find it much better than the usual
practice of many men here in America at local milongas
where they know all the women and they just march up
and don't even say anything, but just stick their hand
out like they're calling their dog to go for a walk
or something.

> Another question I had about Argentine customs is
> about the way women dress. I see outfits at milongas
> in this country sometimes that make a woman look like
> a tart. You know, flashy clothes that shriek for
> attention. Black lace stockings, slits up to the
> armpits, too much makeup, see-through blouses, and in
> general dress inappropriate for a woman of a "certain
> age" and shape. Is this supposed to be "authentic" in
> some way? Do women in BsAs dress this way?  I thought
> that tangueras and tangueros are supposed to dress
> simply, understated, so as not to detract from the
> dance and focus attention on some garish outfit?

     Cool!  Amish milonga!

     Seriously, a milonga (and life in general)
functions on many levels.  I'm not going to go
there, I'll leave that to someone else.

Huck