Re: [TANGO-L] Community Development

[astrid <astrid @RUBY.PLALA.OR.JP>]

Marisa wrote:
> the most effective and pleasant way to learn to dance
> is with partners who can dance - and (that) learning
> with other beginners is unnecessarily slow and painful
If instead
> we danced _across_ ability divisions, we would have a
> crowd of beginners who progressed faster, and we would
> integrate people into the community better. And we
> might have those higher retention rates we were all
> calling for a week ago.
>
> So - how do we set it up so that new people dance with
> folks who are not struggling as miserably as
> themselves?
>
Steve replied:
I have had a similar experience dancing the follower's part with beginning
leaders.  I felt absolutely brutalized and terrified.

This rings so true, and brings up a lot of memories, that I am slowly, in my
fourth year of tango (and 3,5 to 3 years away  from the events) getting over
now.
 I was lucky enough at the time to learn tango from scratch in private
lessons with a very good dancer (Milena chose him as a partner when he
returned to Argentina afterwards). This got me instantly addicted, and
helped me over all the beginner's hurdles which were painful nonetheless,
even with him. Like realising every so often, that I still know nothing,
that I am still a lousy dancer, and usually this realisation came right
after I thought I had finally "got it" now. But it also meant, that he had
just pushed me up to the next level.
Then I started going to milongas. At first, I was exhilarated, but I
remember the day when I felt like a finely tuned musical instrument that was
being abused by a brute, who had no sense whatsoever of what he was holding
there in his arms. My teacher had always been very sensitive to my body.
Dancing with him could hurt mentally (despairing at my own inability) but
not physically. And he did not force my feet into ochos while throwing me
off balance at the same time.
But worse, much worse than this, for me, were those men who liked to blame
everything on the follower. I knew that their lead was altering between
rough and off balance, and weak and incomprehensible, and, basically, was
fairly chaotic, and mostly limited to their arms, hands and elbows, while
occasionally knocking their knees into mine. Still, they blamed me and my
stupidity, lack of attention, stubbornness, or plain female
bloodymindedness, for not being able to accurately produce the move they
imagined they were leading. And no, they absolutely did not want to be told
what it really felt like to be led by them. (And how many tango students do
give because of this?)
These experiences were the ones that would have made me give up tango and
stay away from those milongas attended by the kind of men I had no business
with otherwise, had it not been for my teacher, and the knowledge, that real
tango can be totally different from that. (And how many tango students do
give because of this?)
Three years later I asked Jorge Torres during a lesson:"When a couple
argues, because a move is not working, how do you figure out, whose fault it
is ?" He answered:"It is always the man's fault."

So, after this long explanation, my point is: what is wrong with returning
to the old days, where the men trained with each other, before the new
leaders were let loose on the women ? And the women learned from men who
could already dance ? And where it was understood and taken for granted,
that no woman would be attracted to putting up with some clumsy beginner who
was manhandling and pushing and pulling her around ?
I know, what is wrong with this: there are not enough men, and way too many
women. The dynamics have been turned the other way round. A man, who is
called an intolerable oaf by one follower, has seven ladies waiting on the
bench to dance with him next, no matter what.
Still, I wish, men would not use this situation as an excuse not to improve
their leading skills.
And, teachers should definitely tell them this !! That would help us all.

Astrid

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Send "Where can I Tango in <city>?" requests to Tango-A rather than to
Tango-L, since you can indicate the region. To subscribe to Tango-A,
send "subscribe Tango-A Firstname Lastname" to LISTSERV @MITVMA.MIT.EDU.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------