[TANGO-L] refusing a dance

[SMC Administracion <adm @SMCAR.COM.AR>]

Robert Dodier wrote :

" Simple inability or incompetence is not discouraging
in itself. What's discouraging is getting the sense
of "You think I'm a crappy person".
For what it's worth,
"

There have been many comments in the list about women refusing a dance, or
women dancing with women, or women asking men to dance instead ,contrary
wise to the usual men asking women to dance.

What Robert Didier is saying, is what really matter in my opinion, i.e. to
be polite and friendly, whatever the level of skill of dance of the partner
is.

Now, what would you do  if your dancing partner askes for your opinion about
his skills ?? And if he/she overrate his/her level ??

It is very difficult to say with words, how the feelings evolved during
dancing . If you tried to perform a technique beforehand , or stick to a
routine in your step, maybe you missed the point to feel what happened with
your dancing partner .

I am not sure it is good to consider the dancing sites as "level cheking
points" .

Social dancing is so intimate, from my point of view. If you want to dance
to show off , maybe you are not honest with yourself, social dancing is not
what you need. If you want to show off (which is not to be discuoraged), you
will have to take regular lessons, practice with mirror & bar , make
elongations , etc.etc.. And find a partner that help to set a structured
line of steps , and practice again and again until it seems you are dancing
casually (but you are not dancing casually, you have preset all your steps,
room has not been left for improvisation , unless an accident happens when
showing your dance).


So , why not give us a permission with our bodies ??
Why not  switch off the head for a while, and see what happens , if our
emotions could reach the body without having to pay the ticket at the
rational brain higway ??

I think the first tolerance has to be with oneself .To have patience ,
persistence and good humour . And you will receive the best compliment
after dancing " I don t know what we have done, but it was wonderful . Thank
you !! "

Warm regards
Alberto Gesualdi
Buenos Aires