[TANGO-L] Sean's Thoughts on women asking men to dance

[Trini or Sean - PATangoS <patangos @YAHOO.COM>]

Suzanne Ryan wrote:
 I might be a lone wolf howling in the wind but I personally think
this idea of women inviting men to dance is not a good one.  I think
it
makes men passive and in some cases feeds egos that don't need any
more food...lol!

I have my own "Thoughts on women asking men to dance":

I am a lead who is often invited to dance by follows.  I am sometimes
flattered, but more often annoyed, when women ask me to dance.  There
is one local venue that I no longer attend, at least partially
because the follows are so predatory.  I think it would help if women
were to adopt basic rules of etiquette when asking men to dance.
7       Learn to accept rejection graciously.  (Men seem to have a lot more
practice in this area   lol.)  It is perfectly acceptable for the man
to say  no thank you .  If you get angry, or act like a spoiled brat,
there is a good chance that the man will avoid you from then on.
7       Learn to accept acceptance graciously.  If the man accepts your
invitation, you are obliged to thank him when the tanda is finished.
If you act like you are entitled to dance with him, the man will feel
used and unappreciated, and may avoid you in the future.
7       It is fine to ask a lead to dance if he is talking or watching, but
not if he is moving purposely through the room. Don t ask someone who
is moving off of the floor, or toward another follow.
7       Don t ignore men who dance at your level, and invite only those
more skilled to dance.  If a woman regularly asks me to dance, but
doesn t ask men at her level, I will tell her  no .
7       Do sometimes ask men who are not quite up to your level.  It is
very encouraging to them, and, as they become more skilled, you will
be a preferred partner.  I had a very difficult time learning this
dance.  For many years, most people considered me a basket case
(albeit a persistent one).  A few experienced follows invited me to
dance, and gave me a great deal a help and encouragement.  I now
dance with these women every chance that I get.  They had to wait 5
years for me to be a decent lead, but each of them would tell you
that it was worth the wait.
7       Most importantly, at least once in a while, allow the man to choose
the partner that he wants to dance with.  No one wants to be so
barraged with invitations that he feels he has no control over who he
dances with, and to which songs.  Accept that an experienced lead is
going to have favorite songs, and he may have a different preferred
partner for each of those songs.

Sean from the 'Burgh


=====
PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society . . .Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social dance.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! - Official partner of 2002 FIFA World Cup
http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com