[TANGO-L] Is it teaching OR coaching?

[michael <tangomaniac @JUNO.COM>]

I've read a number of messages dealing with teaching at milongas and that it shouldn't be done. Generally, I agree with that statement but now I wonder if that statement is absolute.

At my last private lesson, my teacher explained the difference between teaching and coaching. If he shows me a new figure, that's teaching. If he grabs my left hand and forces it to move with the rest of my frame so the woman can execute a molinete, that's coaching.

Since dancing tango is considered the same (by some) as having sex with your clothes on, I say that what goes on between two consenting adults is their private business.

At last Monday's milonga in Washington, I danced with a beginner. (I didn't know she was a beginner when I asked.) We danced a tanda. She moved well but her right arm was too stiff. When the tanda was over, I asked her if I could make a suggestion. She said "yes" and I mentioned the importance of being soft so that she could feel the lead. She was grateful. Was I teaching -- OR was I coaching? Was I wrong to suggest? IF the woman wasn't upset, I don't see the problem.

Sometimes I'll try a difficult figure. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't work, sometimes, my partner will say "try that again." So I'll try it again and it usually works the second time. After the tanda, she sometimes want a graphic illustration and we will go to the side OFF THE FLOOR. Is it polite to turn down my partner's request for more information?

The same should hold when the woman wants to give the man feedback. (I'm sure most don't want to hear it but how else can men get better.) If the man is receptive, the woman should tell him "I couldn't feel the lead; you're squeezing my hand; etc.) Is the woman teaching -- OR is she coaching?

IMHO the rule about not teaching at milongas is based on men who want to teach women WHEN THE WOMEN HAVEN'T ASKED FOR ASSISTANCE. This reminds me of an episode from Abbott and Costello. (Oh, am I old!! So what. I can retire in 3 years.) Being a good boy scout, Costello, drags a woman standing at a street corner across the street through moving traffic. After they reach the opposite side of the street, she hits him over the head with her umbrella. Costello screams "Why are you doing that?" The woman replies "I didn't want to cross the street. I was waiting for a bus. And there it goes!!"

Tango is a private, intimate moment, and as long as BOTH partners want to experiment and learn together WITHOUT DISRUPTING the milonga, I don't feel they should be stopped.

Michael
Getting less confused in Washington, DC as time goes on

Still hoping to retire to New York even after reading the
"New York Times" real estate section



I'd rather be dancing argentine tango

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
REMINDER: Announcements of Tango events or products should be sent to
Tango-A and not to TANGO-L. To subscribe to Tango-A, send the
command "subscribe Tango-A Firstname Lastname" to LISTSERV @MITVMA.MIT.EDU.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------