Re: Re-Goodbye to tango

[Georgia Littleton <glit10go @HOTMAIL.COM>]

>From: Christian Lthen <christian.luethen @GMX.NET>
>LdLA:
>
>   It's hard to turn off the White
>   Knight reflex when I see a woman, especially someone new who knows no
>   one at a miloga, sitting and being ignored for an hour or more.
>
>CL:
>Don't you think that "knight reflex" is a sort of self-over-estimation?

How shall I say this?...

B*I*N*G*0

Whether new, accomplished, alone, gay, depressed, proficient, struggling, or
sitting out...

I have never wanted anyone's... pity.

Don't do me any favors!

The man I want to dance with is SELFISH.  He invites me because my presence
and dancing will give him pleasure and he wants it.  It's so satisfying and
normal, I'm happy to receive that kind of invitation from anyone; old,
young, expert, or outright beginner.

But only from someone who respects himself, who believes he is worthy of my
acceptance, who is confidant he merits his own cultivation in his dancing,
his dress, his grooming... and his manners.

I don't feel better when someone "helps" me.  I pay teachers for that.
While dancing, I like it when someone takes care of me.  Self-appointed
teachers may get a certain amount of indulgence from me if I can think of
some good reason to overlook the gaff.

It doesn't happen often.  Do they ever wonder why I'm always "resting"?  Why
I don't greet them?  I don't care.  I waste exactly no time considering
them.  They are too callow to understand the ugly implications: that I'm
deficient and that attention to my improvement will bring me up to a
standard which will (perhaps) garner their approval.

Aren't they, too, a little dull?  And what could possibly be attractive
about that?  On any level?  The topic is discussed enough on this list and
everywhere socially that no one can be unaware of it.  Don't teach me on the
dance floor!  Yet there are dull men, or insecure ones, who don't care about
me.  They care more about preserving the pretense that they are wise and
accomplished, and they believe a lecture will do more to demonstrate it to
me than a cozy embrace and an effective lead.  These are men who are selfish
in a very mean way, a kind of selfishness that diminishes me, not a
selfishness that praises and dignifies me.

Real gentlemen appreciate me.  If they are rare or busy with other partners,
that's okay.  I would rather sit out an entire evening than return home
feeling low after one dance with a White Knight who felt sorry for me or a
"teacher" who wanted to "help" me be a better dancer.

That's what Georgia says.

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