Female Leaders

[elizabeth telson <telsone @WORLDNET.ATT.NET>]

Ingrid, Astrid, and Everyone Else,

I just finished reading your posting regarding female leads, and I am one of those who had an unfortunate experience regarding this issue.  In fact, it almost destroyed my commitment to stick with this dance.

It was pretty much the same scenario -- dance class with more women than men.  Since I attend class to learn, I decided to take the initiative and volunteered to learn how to lead so we all would benefit from the lessons being taught that particular day.

I learned a lot.  Because I cared enough, I asked my female partners for feedback which I took to heart and incorporated, and by the end of the class, my classmates complimented me on what a good lead I became (smiles).

However, on the other side of the coin, the male leaders glowered and expressed their annoyance with body language and nonverbal gestures.

Well, when the teaching assistant arrived (she had been delayed due to traffic), I took her arrival as an opportunity to practice the follower's step of that particular lesson just to make sure I had it correctly.

As a matter of fact, I indicated to her what I was doing...that I was learning to lead that day, but that I wanted to make sure I had the follower's role of that particular maneuver correctly.

Well, at that very moment, the instructor happens to glance over and made some rather unpleasant comments.  One would think that would be the end of it...Oh, no....

Later on, when I was having a chat with a fellow classmate, the instructor asked could he have a word with me and the assistant who was helping me. I will not relate what was said.  One would think that was enough....  Oh, no.

Well, when I arrived home and decided to check my e-mail, I found an e-mail from the instructor apologizing, which was the appropriate action to take on his part, but in the closure of the message, I was urged to take classes with the other fine instructors in the area, which, of course, I have done and I have no regrets about the move.  I love my new instructors and their teaching methods.

I feel I will become a much better dancer under their tutelege.  Plus, they have no problem with the switching back and forth because the objective is to ensure everyone gets the opportunity to practice.  

I find an interesting double-standard here...If the history was one where men danced with men to ensure the ability to dance the dance, what is the problem with women dancing with women to help ensure their ability to dance this dance?

Yes, it is nice to dance with a male leader, but if there aren't enough available and, particularly in the class environment, what is the problem with another woman dancing lead so the class stays on target and everyone benefits?  After all, these lessons are not gratis.  

Now, I haven't dealt with the issue of same sex couples in the milonga environment.  That is a matter of personal preference I would assume.  Therefore, no comment is necessary.

That's my two cents.  Wishing you a blessed day and applauding your courage for exploring this topic,

Sincerely,

Truewater2

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Send "Where can I Tango in <city>?" requests to Tango-A rather than to
Tango-L, since you can indicate the region. To subscribe to Tango-A,
send "subscribe Tango-A Firstname Lastname" to LISTSERV @MITVMA.MIT.EDU.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------