The Tango-L mailing list archive

Digest from 1 May 2000 to 2 May 2000

Reply-To: Discussion of Any Aspect of the Argentine Tango          <TANGO-L  @MITVMA.MIT.EDU>
To: Recipients of TANGO-L digests <TANGO-L  @MITVMA.MIT.EDU>
Date:     Tue, 2 May 2000 03:00:45 -0400
Sender: Discussion of Any Aspect of the Argentine Tango          <TANGO-L  @MITVMA.MIT.EDU>
From: Automatic digest processor <LISTSERV  @MITVMA.MIT.EDU>
Subject:  TANGO-L Digest - 1 May 2000 to 2 May 2000 (#2000-119)
There is one message totalling 90 lines in this issue.

Topics of the day:

  1. Reducing the "rejection rate"





Date:    Mon, 1 May 2000 20:37:15 EEST
From:    Eva V <e_varon_m  @HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: Reducing the "rejection rate"

what about vice versa

I always have problem with men. I do have a partner.

The funiest thing, once I went to amilonga by myself, I was invited to dance
by few tangueros, but when I go with him I am not invited to dance by other
tangueros, just a few exceptions happened. Usually I invite them, they do
not.

And I believe there is a group of people who always invite people among
themselves to dance and not others.

I feel really bothered about this subject. When I was in USA, I never felt
things like this. I could dance with anyone. Netiher I feel ashamed nor I
felt they were ashamed.

Once  I asked a teacher to dance with me, and he rejected. What is more he
invited another women just after a few seconds, how would u feel?

I do not think that I am a bad dancer, if I were is any other way to improve
my dance?

However,I like dancing very much,and I would like to know how to encourage
men to invite women to dance.

Regards

Eva

>From: Renee Dinsmore <>
>Reply-To: Renee Dinsmore <tangogirl  @RCN.COM>
>To: TANGO-L  @MITVMA.MIT.EDU
>Subject: Reducing the "rejection rate"
>Date: Tue, 7 Mar 2000 07:46:41 -0500
>
>Dear List,
>May I add to your discussion on etiquette that for a follower who has
>passed beyond the beginner stage, it is by far preferable to dance with
>a beginner who knows only the walk and salida but executes both well and
>with balance than with one of Charles' afformentioned confirmed "bad
>dancers".  Another good thing about beginner leaders is that they are
>generally open to constructive hints about where they could best place
>their hand or how they can lead with their shoulders instead of pushing
>their follower around.  I love watching enthusiastic new tango
>aficionados explore this new medium for personal expression.  I will
>encourage these beginners whenever I can.
>
>Because of my concern for a tango community that is as welcoming as
>possible, I will go to great length to not offend someone when I receive
>an invitation that I do not choose to accept.  I applaud those few
>members of our community who pre qualify their invitation with a look
>and a nod.  I would suggest a checklist for the leaders when making
>their approach.
>
>1. Is she looking around, trying to catch someone's eye?  If it isn't
>you, she probably won't accept right now.
>2. Is she watching the dance floor, not looking at available partners?
>Maybe she is tired or doesn't want to dance.
>3. Is she engrossed in conversation? Catching her eye will tell you if
>she is ready to wrap that up to join you for a dance.
>4. Has she not yet had time to remove her coat?  You won't get a good
>dance from her if you make her hurry to catch half of this song...
>5. Is she looking right at you?  With an encouraging smile?  Now you can
>ask!
>
>I would be surprised if a little power of observation did not go a long
>way in reducing the "rejection rate" and along with it the perceptions
>of rudeness.  It may be that you have inadvertently been asking at all
>of the "wrong" times.
>
>Many happy tangos to you all,
>Renee from Boston
>
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End of TANGO-L Digest - 1 May 2000 to 2 May 2000 (#2000-119)
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