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Digest from 19 May 1999
to 20 May 1999
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Date: Thu, 20 May 1999 03:00:00 -0400
Sender: Discussion of Any Aspect of the Argentine Tango <TANGO-L @MITVMA.MIT.EDU>
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Subject: TANGO-L Digest - 19 May 1999 to 20 May 1999
There are 2 messages totalling 152 lines in this issue.
Topics of the day:
1. spain?
2. Older milongueras, rude milongueros, getting dances,
Date: Wed, 19 May 1999 17:52:50 +0300
From: Heini-Elina Soutamo <heini.soutamo @HES.PP.FI>
Subject: spain?
Hi!
My friend would very much appriciate if someone could send him good tips =
where to dance tango Argentino in Spain. He will be there in June and =
July.=20
thank you in advance
Heini
Date: Wed, 19 May 1999 10:00:10 -0700
From: ramiro garcia <ramiro9 @YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Re: Older milongueras, rude milongueros, getting dances,
--- Naomi Bennett <Naomiben @SWBELL.NET> wrote:
> I just returned from my first trip to BA. As a
> woman it is a very different experience from the men. > ...
> My blond hair and blue eyes didn't help. I'm 40ish,
> good looking but not an attention getter.
> All the older men preferred to ask the 20ish women.
If you can't compete with the young women through looks, you're going
to have to compete on the basis of dance skills. You will have to be a
much, much, better dancer than the young women for the men's aesthetic
sensibilities to override their concupiscence.
> On friday night at La Estrella, the classes are
> very large (over 80) but over 85% of the men didn't
> stay for the milonga. I believe it was because they
> didn't think they were good enough to dance later
> in a more formal setting.
I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment. I practiced
for almost a year before going to my first milonga in Auburn,
California, a very small, friendly one.
> One 70ish B.A. woman was asked to dance every night
> and afternoon by all aged men. She was an excellent
> dancer and she knew everyone. ... She was always on
> the floor.
I have known ladies that were plain-looking, you'd never notice them in
a crowd, yet danced Every
Dance. They only break they got was when their feet quit. Even then,
men continually pester them to get up and dance.
Having danced with them, I can tell you that it is a delightful,
exhilirating experience.
There's a whole constellation of things working that
have these ladies dancing their shoes off.
They're always neat and presentable. They may not be
gorgeous, but they're never painful to look at. (It also doesn't hurt
to 'make the most' of your assets.)
They don't hide in a dark corner hoping someone will
notice them. They're always visible. Very visible.
The 'feeling' aspect of their dancing is highly developed. They focus
on their partner and not a Hundred other things while they're dancing.
They're 'into it', they seem to enjoy dancing, and dancing with You.
And, of course, they're smokin' dancers.
> What can I say, young and pretty are a winning
> combination.
Life isn't fair. Neither is tango.
> As for a "deep tango" experience, I did have two
> older men do the dirty tango with me when they knew
> that I was American.
> ...
> This short 70ish man let me know in no uncertain
> terms that he had an erection. The other ... did
> a tight grind with a strong arm grip around my
> waist and talked dirty in Spanish...
This is despicable behavior.
> I was reminded by a man from Miami, that it was
> only a 3 minute dance.
> What can I say?
I would tell this gentleman from Miami, "How about if I hold my
soldering iron to your, er, nose, for three minutes? It's only three
minutes."
Too extreme, stretching the point? Hmmm. Well, how about if a large,
hirstute, malodorous, overmuscled
man found him delightful, and kissed and groped him. For "only three
minutes", of course. Would that be OK?
Your acquaintance thinks it perfectly proper for women to endure things
that he wouldn't put up with for three seconds, never mind three
minutes. What on earth could he have been thinking?
Carol Shepherd had some superb advice:
>American women have the 'reputation' they have, not because all men
>think they are loose and will do anything, but because the men know
>they can take advantage of your fuzzy knowledge about what is socially
and
>culturally acceptable behavior. If I get "manhandled" as you describe
>I give one warning of "no mas!" like I mean it and then try to stick
out
>the song and not walk off the floor unless it's very gross and crude
(I
>have walked off before). I always adjust out of milonguero frame and
>take back as much arm's length space as I can, which is the universal
>communication for "this man is being extremely rude." I don't worry
>what other men think when they see this because they have already seen
>the jerk do it with a different woman every time he's there. It is
>important to look like you do not enjoy or condone it.
Very important.
Personally, I lean towards a more direct approach to
resolving these conflicts, and have in the past, though I know the
ladies don't like to operate that way. Given the constraints of not
making a scene, in that situation, I might "accidentally" plant the
spike heels on his feet, or rake his shins with the sharp toe.
Alternately, if I was gripping the man's upper arm with my left hand, I
would slide my thumb into the gap between the deltoid and the insertion
of the pectoral, and gradually dig in with my thumbnail, increasing the
pressure. I guarantee you that would help distract an overardent suitor
from his "little problem."
Who knows, an unpleasant encounter with you might make this brute think
twice next time, and help protect another woman who was less willing to
stand up for herself.
ramiro
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End of TANGO-L Digest - 19 May 1999 to 20 May 1999
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