[TANGO-L] Married Couples in the Milongas

[steve pastor <tang0man2005@YAHOO.COM>]

This same issue - married couples at milongas - has recently come to my attention. No doubt my perspective will be different. I am not in Buenos Aires, but things in the U.S. are much more similar than most posts seem to be portraying.
  I also write to let the women know how things are, whether you agree or disagree. I also write as a sinlge baby boom era male who has been dancing socially for well over a decade.
  Just last Sunday I talked to a woman who told me of women that have "gone home in tears" because no one other than their husbands had asked them to dance.
  I also dance country western, and my absolute favorite partner has become engaged. She has said, "we can still dance together", which is true, but I think we both know that it wont be the same. Annie and I would quite often catch each others eye and nod towards the dance floor to arrange a dance (a country western cabeceo?) At this same dance club women will sit against the wall, with their husband or boyfriend on the outside between them and everyone else, and then wonder why no one else asks them to dance.
  Of course Argentina and Buenos Aries is different than here in the U.S., but here is what is the same.
  Most men respect the fact that a woman is part of a couple. It has nothing to do with a woman being "owned" by a man, and everything to do with the fact that everyone can see that they are together. Most men have been around long enough to know (and it doesnt take long to learn), that the chance of having an invitation to dance accepted is higher with a woman who is alone, than a woman who is sitting or standing beside a man she arrived with. There is the additional problem that we men must always wonder how much attention to someone elses date / girlfriend / wife is too much attention.
  And you should know that this works the other way, too. I have been dancing close embrace milonga to very fast songs at the country western place. The woman I do this with eventually told me that women were starting to ask her if it was OK for them to dance with me. Although I dont think they thought of me as her property, they were in my opinion respecting her feelings, whatever they might have been.
  It would be good to be aware of the fact that men more often rely on non verbal information than women, and adjust your expectations and "body language" accordingly.

		
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