Re: [TANGO-L] seduction or imposition

[Yale Tango Club <yaletangoclub @yahoo.com>]

Hello Hyla,

That's a great post, and how nice that you say what's
what.

But just to put things in perspective, I find the
majority of men to be gentlemen on the dance floor.

Yes, there is an occasional lecher who will try to
force a leg wrap, and if your resist by just keeping
your legs down, will persistently stay put and try to
hoist you not just once more but 4 more times before
giving up and moving on. I am not making this up, it
happened just the other day.

But most of the time there is just dancing, friendly
but without extras whether unilateral or bilateral.

I find that the kind of moves that are seductive to
me, are very subtle. There's what Susana Miller calls
franela, the brushing of thighs during the walk.
Paradas can be seductive. There's the subtle
readjusting of the embrace on the woman's back, the
folding in of the hands on the open side to rest on
the man's chest, the pauses that allow you to settle
into a moment of perfect equilibrium.

On the other end of the spectrum there are the
invasive moves, these include the ganchos, leg wraps,
sacadas which you sometimes follow enthousiastically
and sometimes reluctantly. In general, it is easy to
sort out if a man leads these because they are fun
figures that work well with the dynamics of his dance,
or just because his goal is to get his legs between
yours or yours around his as often as he can get away
with.

But again, such lechers are in the minority and pretty
easy to avoid.

In my earlier post I suggested that men, by virtue of
their life strategy as males, unconsciously connect
tango and sex. This is pretty much under the surface,
and is expressed as a general desirability of
feel-good situations in which he gets to interact with
women socially, have their one-on-one attention, dance
with them, hug them etc. Perfectly acceptable
socially. And without the feelgood reward, the men
might be discouraged by the stress and rejection and
stop coming to tango.
The guys with the objectionable dance
strategies are probably the same as the ones that
hang in bars and try those stupid pick-up lines on
every woman that walks by.

Best regards
Tine



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