[TANGO-L] hidden deep tango conversations

[Trini or Sean - PATangoS <patangos @YAHOO.COM>]

Excellent posts, Hyla.  Your last one of what
encouraged you to participate more fully in the dance
reminded me of what causes me to NOT fully
participate.

It usually comes down to several things:

1. My partner is relatively nonresponsive (which has
been discussed at length).

2. Fear of making a mistake (already discussed).

3. My partner shows too much personal interest.

The last one is something that I have been discussing
lately with some locals.  How can one be expressive
without eliciting undesired attention?  Perhaps one
cannot.  I am fortunate to have dance partnerships in
which we can both experience a full range of emotional
expression.  But I can see where others cannot get
past the eroticism of tango or the eroticism is an end
in itself.  I think of it as a nice byproduct.
Perhaps, as one of my partners has suggested, it is a
matter of tango maturity.

I have the magic words "my husband" that I use to draw
boundaries, but I do not know how to advise my single
female students on this.  We try to lead by example
and encourage everyone to feel the music and be
expressive.  By knowing what it feels like to be
"safe" with us, it helps all of our students recognize
the line between connecting for the dance and
connecting for other things.  They can then choose
their partners wisely.  That seems to be working and I
am glad our students feel they can talk to us about
this.  For me, though, talking about it with them is a
little like explaining the birds and the bees - not an
entirely comfortable subject.

Comments?

Still an old-fashioned Southern gal from the Bible
Belt,
Trini de Pittsburgh


PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society
Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social dance.
http://www.pitt.edu/~mcph/PATangoWeb.htm


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