Re: [TANGO-L] Ego

[Theo Bartek <teo77 @HOTMAIL.COM>]

Dear Rose,

I think it is steps on the ladder that you are talking about.  And not
necessaruiily the TANGO ladder, but the growth and maturity factor that we
all experience in life.

The Argentine tango dance reflects faithfully where one is; and all places
lead to a loftier goal.

The qualities of inner and outer strength, self-confidence and awareness,
self-worth and inner security, playfullness, a feeling of oneness and unity
with your partner and with all others, can point to emotional maturity on
and off the floor.

But judging one another because we're not there yet is not the way to go.

And I'm speaking of universal love, not "eros" or "romantic" love.  Would
you rather love or be loved? Can you have one without the other?  Which one
comes first?  These are the questions that we all must ask ourselves and
come to terms with, both on and off the dance floor.

We are "Tango From The Heart"
Marsha Bartek

From: Razor Girl <dilettante666  @YAHOO.COM>
Reply-To: Razor Girl <dilettante666  @YAHOO.COM>
To: TANGO-L  @MITVMA.MIT.EDU
Subject: [TANGO-L] Ego
Date: Tue, 19 Jul 2005 10:58:59 -0700

At the milonga last night my friend said to me "I have
figured out why I don't enjoy dancing with a lot of
men"  when I asked her why she told me "it is because
many times they can't see past their own selves".

I thought about this and I told her that when I see
very good leaders they are mostly dancing with the
follower's feet and do very little themselves.  You
can visually see that they are connecting in a very
real way to their partner's movement.

The leaders that we do not appreciate are the ones who
are dancing with their own egos. We agreed that it can
be very lonely on the dance floor at times.  Dancing
with a leader who seeks only to satisfy himself.

In all fairness I am sure that there are leaders who
have a similar experience with some followers.

I think that in order achieve a satisfying connection
with someone you have to really open yourself up in a
way that many people are unwilling or afraid to do.
And at the same time that you express yourself, you
need to leave room for the other person.

What are your thoughts on this?  How do you personally
seek to achieve a satisfying connection?  What do you
think makes it possible to dance with someone in a way
where each person is self confident and yet at the
same time open to allowing the expression of the
other?

Regards,
Rose
Portland, OR


Tango From The Heart: http://www.gainesvilletango.org

Dancing is not getting up any time like a speck of dust blown around by the
wind. Dancing is when you rise above both worlds, tearing your heart to
pieces and giving up your soul.

Mevlana Jalal al-din Rumi  Persian Poet

"A society that will trade a little liberty for a little order will lose
both and deserve neither."
THOMAS JEFFERSON