[TANGO-L] Ego

[Razor Girl <dilettante666 @YAHOO.COM>]

At the milonga last night my friend said to me "I have
figured out why I don't enjoy dancing with a lot of
men"  when I asked her why she told me "it is because
many times they can't see past their own selves".

I thought about this and I told her that when I see
very good leaders they are mostly dancing with the
follower's feet and do very little themselves.  You
can visually see that they are connecting in a very
real way to their partner's movement.

The leaders that we do not appreciate are the ones who
are dancing with their own egos. We agreed that it can
be very lonely on the dance floor at times.  Dancing
with a leader who seeks only to satisfy himself.

In all fairness I am sure that there are leaders who
have a similar experience with some followers.

I think that in order achieve a satisfying connection
with someone you have to really open yourself up in a
way that many people are unwilling or afraid to do.
And at the same time that you express yourself, you
need to leave room for the other person.

What are your thoughts on this?  How do you personally
seek to achieve a satisfying connection?  What do you
think makes it possible to dance with someone in a way
where each person is self confident and yet at the
same time open to allowing the expression of the
other?

Regards,
Rose
Portland, OR