Re: [TANGO-L] TANGO-L Digest - 12 Dec 2003 to 13 Dec 2003 (#2003-329)

[H Dickinson <hyladlmp @YAHOO.COM>]

There was a lot yesterday from leads on why they like
or dislike dancing milonga. So here's a few little
pennies from someone who follows.

I love dancing milonga.  I loooooooove dancing
milonga.  (But I hate dancing milonga with someone who
doesn't like to dance it.)

I like different music and rhythms for different
things.  To me, milonga is less romantic, more
grounded, more playful, at its best very intimate, but
not so much grand passion or drama.  It makes me
smile, it s for enjoyment and fun.  When danced well
it is always really grounded--even though your feet
might be moving fast, there is still a feeling of
being very connected to the floor and your partner.

That is what made the difference to me in enjoying
milonga.  Some teacher (actually several) said, "the
faster the music, the more grounded you have to be".
It takes awhile to put this into practice, but once
you do, you stop jerking around and sweating with
fear, and just start smiling.

I like the music itself.  As a couple of you
mentioned, it is so easy to hear the main beat (sorry
musicologists, but you know, that main rhythm bit that
tells you when to step unless you want a syncopation).
 And it is so playful (shall we say, "upbeat") and has
so much drive.  It is hard for me to imagine someone
sitting down while it is playing.  I'll only sit
through a milonga if all the leads available are
either overwhelmed beginners or are unable to keep
time (or don't enjoy milonga, in which case they'll be
no fun to dance it with).

I've had great milonga sets with some newer
(beginning) leads, if they had some musicality, and
were willing to walk while playing with the beat.
I've even led a few milongas in practicas.  If my
follow is not afraid of the tempo and is willing to
relax and have fun with walking and rock steps, it can
be awfully nice.  My problem leading it is that I hear
so much in the music but don't have the technique to
lead it yet.  (But frustration gives us the incentive
to rise and meet the challenge, right?) But maybe part
of why guys don't like to lead it is that the follows
often get so excited or intimidated by the speed of
the music and take flight and are hard to control and
no fun to dance with.

As for connection and milonga, it's easy to get really
connected with your partner when dancing milonga.  You
snuggle right in, breath easy, take small steps, get
grounded, stay loose, and play.  The more connected
and grounded the two of you are, the more fun it is.
And when I am really connected and grounded, it's fun
to challenge myself (and my lead) and see how much I
can get away with, (rhythmically speaking) while still
being ready to pick up his next lead.  If I can feel
him smile, or chuckle, we're on!  If he tightens up, I
pull back and just enjoy his lead and the music, try
to dance it "plain".  That's fun, too.

The best compliment I ever got from another follow,
was from a woman who told me that it always looked as
if I had so much time and never seemed to get rushed.
(Don't I wish I could always live up to that one!).
When dancing a very fast milonga with lots of traspie,
I find it essential to take some time.  When you only
have a millisecond between steps, then be really
present and you'll find as much time as you need
within that millisecond, by connecting to the music,
the floor, and your partner.  And ignore that little
demon inside that says  "Faster faster! up on your
tippy toes, you don't have time to make contact with
the floor! help!wait! Breathe?  No time to breathe!"

That's the demon that makes milonga a sweaty, jerky,
panic stricken little trip through hell.  And maybe
one of the things that ends up making the milonga so
satisfying, is being able to defeat that little demon
and take that time and feel that connection and
breathe, smile, play--connect!

So fellow follows agree or disagree?  Leads?

Hyla

Here's a quote from E.M. Forster for the dance quote
collectors:  "Only connect!  Only connect!".  And
Brian, awesome stuff about the depth of emotion in
tango.  I get a similar depth in milonga, only it goes
in another direction does that make any sense?



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