Re: [TANGO-L] Community Growth: Harmful unsolicited "teaching" & sexual advances

[Stephen Brown <Stephen.P.Brown @DAL.FRB.ORG>]

Some of my earlier comments strayed a bit away from the general thrust of
discussion because I was writing about an extreme form of predatory
behavior, where others had less extreme behavior in mind.

When we are talking about extreme predatory behavior, and the recipient of
the unwanted attention is an established member of the community who makes
an appeal for help of some sort, either men or women are likely to feel a
need to respond and tell the predator that such behavior is unwelcome in
the tango community.  Meeting the predator with a group (posse?) can be
helpful.

Extreme predatory behavior is fairly rare, however.  What is more common
is behavior that does not cross the line but is just aggressive enough to
be creepy.

Most communities have a few men and women who are fairly decent dancers
and frequent practices, but do not get to dance as often as they would
like.  Whenever a young, attractive beginning dancer of the opposite sex
appears, these more experienced dancers quickly offer to dance and show
the younger dancer a few things.  These more experieced dancers even
aggressively offer to dance with young dancers who have arrived with
partners.  At first the beginning dancer is grateful for the opportunity
to dance with someone who knows more.  As they dance, however, the less
experienced dancer begins to realize that something else is going on,
particularly when a polite thank fails to to end the attention, and the
more experienced dancer holds onto the beginner for dance after dance.
Suddenly what seemed like an opportunity to learn becomes creepy unwanted
attention.

In some cases, the unwanted attention will discourage younger
beginners--male and female--from continuing with tango.

What to do about such situations?

1)  Beginners should watch others dance at first, and be careful about
accepting dances with more experienced dancers who are not dancing with
other experienced dancers.

2)  The organizers can tell people who they see engaging in a repeated
pattern of destructive behavior that their behavior is not welcome at the
event.

3)  More experienced dancers of the same gender as the beginning dancer
may warn the beginning dancer about people to avoid.

4)  People who are the same gender as the more experienced dancer can tell
that person that their behavior is not welcome in the community.

5)  Community FAQs can offer advise about dealing with unwanted attention.
 A good example is on the Portland tango website
<http://home.europa.com/~walsup/tango/faq.html>.

6)  Peoplc can notes to Tango-L advising others that such behavior can
occur.

With best regards,
Steve

Stephen Brown
Tango Argentino de Tejas
http://www.tejastango.com/